Remembering to Love
Whatever the problem is, the solution is Love. At this moment in time, wherever you are and whatever you are doing there is a choice. Our choice is to be in love or fear. Yes there are many frequencies under love and fear (appreciation, gratitude, anger, impatience etc.)we experience as humans, however let’s keep it in the bigger context.
We are all humans, and we live in a Collective Field that includes everyone. Science has proven that we can pick up the vibes of others. Ever wonder when you walk into a room or meet a person how you can pick up the vibe, you either go into the room or engage the person, or you turn around and walk away?
Back to love. I have been a student of the Course In Miracles for years and one lesson that stays in my awareness is “everything is either love or a call for love” . Think about this for a minute, let it land in your own heart and mind.
If someone is behaving in a way that gets our nervous systems activated in some way, I can be reactive myself in some way. What if we see this as a “cry for love” instead? How would you behave? What would you do? Could you see this as this person needing love?
This is my story. My husband Tim and I have been married for 51 years in August. We got married very young, so we were very unaware and in my humble opinion, I had lots of wounding that drove so much of my behaviors. Being this young and unaware at the time I had no idea of what my Soul had in store for me. We did make a promise that we would help each other grow as Spiritual Beings.
Tim was diagnosed with stage 4B cancer back in September. I must admit it was rather shocking to both of us. Since then he has been on hormones to reduce the testosterone in his body to slow the cancer down so his body can heal. Well, 8 months into this journey it has gotten very interesting. I think we all know the power of hormones to influence our bodies/brains and emotions 😉
I have been noticing how the hormones are playing out recently. He is still this beautiful lovely Soul, however his personality is going through some shifts. I notice he is getting more “spacey”, argumentative and distracted more often, which is not him at all.
So we were eating dinner one night and he let me have it!!! He spoke of anger and resentment toward me for several minutes. I have never seen this part of him. He was louder than usual and very clear about his anger and resentment.
So, here is where I practiced my tool of coherence, state of ease! I sat in my heart deeply anchored in neutral as I breathed in and out of my heart as I listened to him speak his truth. I could feel the tension in my body, I could notice the part of me wanting to defend myself, I felt a part of me wanting to get up and leave.
Instead I chose to stay present with what was happening. I chose to stay in my Self, centered in my heart.
Before he finished I felt this wave of gratitude flowing through me. My thoughts went to gratitude for his honesty. I felt gratitude for him finally allowing this energy to come up and out. I felt love. I felt love for him and myself. This was a cry for Love.
It made me wonder about if this wasn’t part of what was creating his cancer? The mind/body/emotional connections that has been proven in psychoneuroimmunology theories. What if?
When he was done, I thanked him for sharing and then left the room. I went upstairs and sat with the impact on me. I noticed parts of me feeling guilt, shame, sadness etc.(all of these old patterns from past coming up to be seen and transformed, one more layer) This is where once again I applied the skill set I learned being a coach/trainer of resilience and coherence of the HeartMath system.
I took these parts into my own heart (tending and befriending ) each one with compassion and deep love. I listened deeply to what they needed, Love.
I took care of my own dysregulation of my nervous system and found it to be a joy to do this work on my own stuff.
Since that time, we are different. Treating each other with dignity, love and compassion. Will it happen again, of course, we are humans traveling this journey of cancer and all that it brings up in each of us. And, I have skills! Good to know;-)
If this touches you in some way, and you would like to develop the skills of the heart or working with parts of your self, please reach out to me.
Humanity is going through a major change in how we do so many things. I think the biggest change of all is that at this time we are invited to ask ourselves “is this love or fear” that I am witnessing. One hint I learned is that if I am judging, I am not Loving’-)
